Death Doula Trainer
Circle-of-Life Doula
Birth Doula Trainer
Hypnotherapist - Birth, Life, Pain & Death
Doulas of the World
Women's Health Cambodia
 

“We are here to awaken from our illusion of separateness”

Thich Naht Hahn

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I ran away to sea at 17, and began my adult life as a cruising yachtswoman. More than a love of sailing I loved the community I belonged to. I felt connected to people, sailors and landlubbers, all over the world. That was my longing, and belonging.

I spent about 12 years sailing others’ boats and then my own. It held a lot of joy, and loneliness, both. Although I spent much of the time very present to sea and weather conditions, I never felt in any significant danger. That is not to say I wasn’t ever in some dangerous conditions. I just never experience my mortality. I loved the space, the freedom and feeling so very small in a large universe. There is a saying, there is no such thing as an atheist at sea. I began a long spiritual search.

When I returned to Australia I was offered a job teaching sailing at a large charter and sailing school. That was fun and demanding too. I learned patience and understanding we all see things differently.

I felt the need to stay connected with my friends so I started a magazine for women on the water Sistership ( https://issuu.com/sistershipmagazine/docs/sistership_1988_issue_1 ) I knew and know there are a lot of women on the water who were not spoken of or to.

In my travels trying to market the magazine I was offered a teaching position at TAFE NSW in the Maritime Studies department. I wasn’t a very good self marketer, so I took up the offer with TAFE. I taught a lot of men and a small group of women their commercial marine skills for over 25 years.

In the meantime I began a relationship with a woman, finding myself challenged to understand my sexuality. She and I birthed and co-parented a child each. We shared a relationship for 14 years. My children are now young adults.

After leaving that relationship I had the opportunity to visit East Timor for several weeks during their early days of independence. It was a profoundly moving experience. The village would not let me depart until I had been sung to and allowed to cry for my grief and loss of my relationship with them, brief as it was, but also I cried for the changes in my  life, for the loss of my relationship, for the relief of that loss, and for gratitude I held for that village. They understood what grief is and they helped me grieve.

I continued to search for my spiritual selfhood.  

I took up with a man, Dave, an intensive care paramedic, who was struggling with life. We enjoyed many adventures together, including sailing from Fremantle to Newcastle. We freedived in Dean’s Blue Hole, the Bahamas. We dived into personal development courses together. We shared a soul connection. We married in 2017.

My very last Maritime teaching experience was very stressful. I had gone to teach a specialised course at the University of Tasmania, for which I given little actual support, on top of the stress that Dave was unwell with PTSD and depression and alcohol abuse, and had come to Tasmania with me.

On our way home I had a very severe painful episode of trigeminal neuralgia (which I have suffered intermittently for 30 years). Dave, the paramedic, thought I had had a stroke, as I seemed to be in a full dementia, but it was subsequently diagnosed as Transient Global Amnesia. I do not remember anything of those 4 hours I lost in Melbourne airport. I do remember coming back into my body, pain gone, in the Sunshine hospital. I had the profound feeling I been taken somewhere. I felt my mortality deeply. I came out of that experience feeling death is not the worst thing. In fact I experienced the bliss of knowing death is not the end. 

I believe I had been asked to look at my own life and reassess. A month later my son had an investigative brain surgery (all clear). I really was called to explore what is at the end of life.

A month after that I found Denise’s Death Doula training in my area. I went not sure what I would discover. I was so moved by the course I took Dave to the following class. We both attended the Advanced course. One of the questions Denise asks of us is what is on our bucket list? The item most important for me then was to sing. I now sing in a Threshold choir, singing for people undergoing life transitions.

I have been studying and practicing in the doula role since 2017. I also trained as a spiritual pastoral care practitioner in both the hospital and hospice setting. This has given me insight into the challenges and benefits of the medical system. A trip to hospital changes lives.

I believe we doulas can listen deeply to each other’s and our clients’ stories and provide a vital role in accompanying people to their end of life.  I host a regular online Death Café to share conversation about anything to do with death and dying.

Since Dave’s death in 2019 I have worked as a disability support worker in the area of mental health. I have gained insights into this growing area of support. I now reserve part of my home for people who need support at the end of life. It is a palliative retreat, CareB&B.

I look forward to meeting, sharing and teaching you. This is an amazing voyage into who we are at Source and how we can serve others navigating their ends of life. It is such a privilege.

 

My Qualifications

Bachelor of Adult Education (UTS)

Certificate IV in Training and Assessment (AITT)

DeathWalker (Zenith Virago)

Doula Training (Preparing the Way)

Doula, Advanced Doula (LifeOptions)

Graduate Certificate in the Arts (Sydney College of Divinity)

Hatha Yoga Teacher Training (Swami Sarasvati)

LGBTI Aged Care Training (Silver Rainbow)

Mental Health First Aid (MHFAA)

Mindfulness and Awareness in End of Life Care (Spiritual Care Australia) 

Statement of Attainment in Mentoring (TAFE NSW)

Yachtmaster, Master Class IV, DeckWatchkeeper (AMSA)